Bad Gods
by Calapine
Summary: In School Reunion, the Doctor makes a different choice, and Rose finds herself some unexpected allies in her fight against him.
1. Satan's Voice

**Bad Gods**

Prologue: Satan's Voice

_In the beginning, there was understanding.  
- The Book of Rassilon_

"I could save everyone."

There was something wrong with the Doctor's voice, something wrong with his eyes. Sarah watched him, but she knew that both she and Rose had passed from his mind. Whatever he could see now, it didn't include them.

"Yes," said Finch, leaning forwards, his voice silky, intimate. He watched the Doctor, and the Doctor watched civilisations rise, and people laugh and live and never say goodbye. He saw the Capital on Gallifrey, bright with life. Brighter than it had been as it burnt in the temporal inferno he had sent cascading across his civilisation. Bright and white and raging with a life that would never end.

"I could stop the war." No-one would have to die. No Time Lord. No Dalek. He could save the Kaleds, the Gelth, the Nestene. No worlds would have to end. No worlds would ever have to end.

Gallifrey reborn. And all the lives that she had created through the millennia.

Finch almost smiled.

"No," said Sarah. "The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love."

The Doctor watched Finch's face, watched it fall. Behind his eyes Gallifrey fell. Tears and ashes.

"Whether it's a world, or a relationship," continued Sarah.

The Doctor looked at her, waited, but she said nothing more. "No," he said, rejecting her words. "No."

"Ah." Finch, triumph. He stepped forward, taking the Doctor's shoulders. "The equation is complete. Listen. Listen, my brothers!"

Around him, a light grew, billowing from the electronics, lancing out, looking for its creator. For the Krillitanes, and now, for the Doctor.

Their images faded into the light. Sharp, green and growing.

And then Sarah grabbed Rose's hand. "Run," she hissed in her ear.

Rose hesitated, still watching the Doctor. "We can't just-"

"We have to. There's nothing we can do." Sarah took a firm grip of her arm, propelled her from the room.

They raced through the corridors. Something was following, not the Doctor, not Finch, nor any of the Krillitanes, but _something_. Sarah looked back, watched as the air seemed to roll towards them. A great wave, translucent and insubstantial, but it sent a stab of terror through her.

She gripped Rose's hand a little harder, ran a little faster, ignored the pain in her chest, the protests from her muscles.

They were out of the school. "Mickey!" yelled Rose as they kept running. No reply, and Sarah concentrated on nothing except the tarmac beneath her feet. _Keep running._

There was an explosion. Bright and fierce and green, so very green. It knocked Sarah and Rose forward, knocking them apart.

Sarah coughed; the air stank. She brushed the grit from her bruised palms. Her hands had born the brunt of her fall. She looked up, seeing nothing, her eyes stung with smoke.

A hand stretched out to her, offering to help her up, and it was not Rose's. Small and pale, and when she took it the skin was cool beneath her own.

"If you want to live," said the hand's owner, "come with me." 


	2. The Long Night

_The Time Lords will never require sleep, but will always be aware always of themselves and their senses._  
_ - The Book of Rassilon_

It was undoubtedly a TARDIS, but it wasn't like the Doctor's TARDIS at all. The console, Rose recognised, but the walls of the room faded into the distance, becoming strange and indistinct. Arches swung high above them, warm white melting into liquid gold.

Save the console, the only thing in that room that looked truly real was the little doorway with the arch that seemed to lead nowhere. _The inner door, it must be._ Even the way out of the ship seemed to fade away as they stepped closer to the console.

Their rescuer stood over the controls. Looked them over, an assessing gaze. It took only a moment, and then her attention was returned to the console. Her hands flew over the panels, well-practiced, precise. Nothing like the Doctor; there was no casualness to her movements, instead there was almost a detachment, as though wished to touch the controls as little as possible. She did not think of this ship as the Doctor thought of his.

"You okay?" Rose asked Sarah. She nodded, looking around, curious. She wasn't frightened, or she was hiding it very well.

"Where are we going?" asked Sarah, addressing the stranger.

Their rescuer shrugged, a delicate gesture. "I don't know, it wouldn't be safe. Somewhere else." She turned to them, finished at the console. "My name is Romana."

"Sarah, and this is Rose."

"I know. I came to find you both."

"Why?" asked Rose.

Romana seemed surprised. "To rescue you."

"From the Krillitane?" said Rose.

"From the Doctor."

Rose shook her head, almost laughed. "You can't be serious. He's the _Doctor_. He's…you're a Time Lord, aren't you?" Romana nodded. _Of course she is. This is a TARDIS. But the Doctor had been so certain._ "He said you were all dead."

"The Time Lords were dead," agreed Romana. "He brought them back."

Rose and Sarah exchanged a glance. Allies. A gesture of solidarity.

"So who are you, exactly?" asked Sarah. "And why did we need rescuing, from the Doctor of all people?"

"You ran; you knew." Romana's eyes flicked from one to the other. Her expression stony, the gravity sitting uneasily on her features.

"We don't even know what happened to him," said Rose. "There was an explosion…or something. Where is he? Is he okay?"

Romana looked away, pretended distraction, some light on the console. "He's changed." She sighed, spoke carefully, as though willing them to understand. "A lot has changed."

"It's only been a few minutes," said Rose quietly, almost to herself. "What can he have done?"

"A few minutes for us," Sarah said.

"What d'you mean?" said Rose. "There hasn't been any…" She trailed off, glanced at Sarah. "Time," she said. "But if he really got those…those god powers, time wouldn't really be a problem, would it?"

Romana nodded. "Yes, I think you understand, a little. You were at the epicentre. It's given you a little protection. Enough for me to get there before he learned how to approach it himself without creating a paradox."

Sarah looked at Romana. "But what _has_ he done? Surely he won't…he can't do anything terrible, can he?"

Romana was very quiet, biting her bottom lip, an incongruously human gesture of uncertainty. "Would you like a cup of tea? I think that would be a good idea."

* * *

So many years and light years away, another TARDIS, another Time Lord. This one travelled alone, finding his own answers in the strange new universe that he didn't recognise.

But something was coming.

"Doctor." The Master stepped away from his console, regarding his old friend - his old enemy - with an even expression. The sudden inexplicable appearance of the Doctor in the console room of his TARDIS was definitely not what he had expected.

"Hello," said the Doctor, friendly, mild.

He had changed. Younger now, another regeneration at least. But something more, something else. Something that shouldn't be there. Inexplicably, the Master realised he was afraid. "What's happened to you?"

"Ah." The Doctor smiled. "Ah, yes. I was wondering if you'd notice."

"Is there something you wanted, or is this just a social call?" asked the Master, changing tack. He had no intention of flattering the Doctor's ego and he wasn't armed. There wasn't even a weapon close to hand. He'd never expected anyone to be able to penetrate his TARDIS while it was in-flight.

And when the Doctor stepped forward, the Master wanted to bolt. But he held his ground. He would not humiliate himself in front of the Doctor, he would not run.

He was close now, close enough for the Master to see the colour of his eyes, close enough to touch him. The Master knew how to kill with a single strike of his hand, but he found himself unable to move.  
"You're not the Doctor," he said with a certainty that he did not feel.

"I am," the Doctor said, "And I'm more." He reached out a hand, touched the Master's cheek with his fingertips. "Be at peace, old friend."

* * *

The kitchen, so different to the console room. Gone was the grandiose; this place was cosy and intimate, varnished wood panelling in dark colours. A far more personal space.

Romana's movements were smooth and quick as she filled the kettle and found mugs and teabags and milk and sugar. Soon they were sitting around a circular wooden table, sipping hot tea. Rose spoke first.

"Why d'you come get us?"

"He's looking for you," Romana said. "You're very important to him. Both of you. That means you're in danger."

"But he's the-"

"So you keep saying," Romana snapped. She closed her eyes, took a breath. "But he's not now. You must believe me."

"You haven't given us any reason too," Sarah said mildly, both her hands wrapped around her mug. "You just appeared, snatched us off Earth-"

"You came willingly enough."

"There wasn't time to think," said Sarah.

Romana gave her a cool look. "I see."

Sarah took another sip of tea, nodded. "I'm sorry. You're right. We came with you. And there was something wrong, with the Doctor, right there at the end."

"Yeah," said Rose. "He got some powers. It's not like he was human to behind with. We should go back, find him. He'll be okay-"

"He is _not_ okay, Rose," said Romana. Then, more kindly, "He's not who you remember."

"But I don't understand. What's changed?" She was almost pleading. "How has he changed?"

Romana glanced at Sarah. "You know, don't you?"

"He accepted the power of a god," said Sarah. "Power corrupts?"

"Exactly," confirmed Romana. "Power corrupts and for a Time Lord even more so. If a Time Lord is given power and does not give it up, it will destroy him." She cleared her throat, spoke again, sounded as though she were reciting, "That corruption, the beast that sleeps inside our head, waiting for when we rise so it can consume us. Its domain is destruction, and its lair sits at the end of the universe." She gave a wan smile. "So many Time Lords have fallen to power: Rassilon, Omega, Morbius, Borusa…and now the Doctor has been given more than any of them, and it will take him too."

"What are you saying?" demanded Rose. "That the Doctor's turned evil?"

"No, not exactly. He…doesn't understand that what he's trying to do is wrong. Misguided would be a better word. But it will only get worse. He will diminish, and the corruption within him will grow."

Rose stood up, dropping her mug onto the table. "Who are you anyway? How d'you now what he's doing is wrong? How d'you know he won't make things better?"

Her gaze was mild, her voice milder. "I told you, I'm Romana. And I know because the Doctor told me. He brought me back with the rest of our people and wanted to explain, so I wasn't changed. I am who I have always been. He…pleaded. He wanted forgiveness that I could not give. I left him, and he's been looking for me ever since."

"Why you?" asked Rose, though she knew she wouldn't like the answer.

"Because I'm his friend. Because he wanted to someone to understand. Someone who _could_ understand. But what he's creating is monstrous. An abomination. And I will do everything in my power to stop him." She finished her tea, stood up. A little taller than Rose. "But I will take you back to Earth, or anywhere else, if that's what you want. I'm certainly not going to keep you here against your will. Understand though that he will find you. There were a precious few minutes that protected you as he changed, but you're not safe now. He wants to find you both."

"Why?" asked Sarah.

Romana seemed surprised. "Because he loves you."

Sarah swallowed. "What happens if he finds us?"

"He'll make you…better." Her voice was chilling.

"And if we stay?" said Rose.

"I would be infinitely grateful," Romana told her with a faint smile. "Both for the help and the distraction. If he's searching for you then there's less damage done to the rest of the universe."

"But if he has the powers of a god, what can we do against that?" asked Sarah.

Romana raised a single elegant eyebrow. "He's omnipotent, not omniscient. I'm quite clever, you know. I can keep us hidden, for now at least. So will you stay? Will you help me?"

Rose and Sarah exchanged a glace. "I'll stay," said Rose. Sarah nodded.

Romana smiled, genuine and complete. "Thank you. Thank you both."

* * *

After giving both her new arrivals rooms somewhere between the kitchen and the console room, Romana returned to her own room. She didn't have to sleep unless she wanted to, but a few hours of quiet would do her the world of good, she decided.

It had been risky, taking the TARDIS that close to such a magnitude of temporal energy. The Doctor had not lost any time leaving Earth as soon as he could, waving a hand and vanishing all the causes and effects of the Time War from existence. Then with his structure in place he had begun to work on the details of a new Gallifrey.

Romana had been there to see his finished work and how she had hated it, began to hate him.

But if he had stopped there, she could have borne it. The universe could have gone on. She could have lived. Impossible now, the Doctor simply had to be stopped and it would be too dangerous to let anything that he had created remain. All she had to do was work out how she could prevent any of this from having started. The solutions she imagined became ever more catastrophic, and ever more impossible to implement.

At least she wasn't alone anymore. She didn't have the Doctor's love for humans, but she had no real dislike of them, and, unlike any of the new Time Lords, these two could be trusted. The Doctor had touched neither of them. They were themselves.

She found herself glancing in the mirror more often than she wanted too. She knew she would see it eventually, and the fear of its appearance warred with her determination to get it over with. Then she could rest.

It was the Doctor's doing; it could be no-one else's. Unless her subconscious was more damaged than she had ever suspected. But, no, she could not accept that. She was Romanadvoratrelundar, last President of Gallifrey and all her memories and self were her own. Everything, right up to the moment of her death was within her, and the worries that somehow the Doctor had changed her and she had not known were past. A simple acceptance was best. If he had done so, there was nothing she could do; if he had not, she was worrying over nothing.

She looked in the mirror. The mirror looked back: the left corner, over her shoulder.

* * *

"Do you trust her?"

Rose hadn't been able to sleep and had decided to take a better look around Romana's TARDIS, but all the corridors had led back to the kitchen. Eventually, she had given up and made herself some hot chocolate instead.

Sarah had appeared as she was spooning cocoa power into her mug full of steaming milk, claiming to want a glass of water, but Rose suspected she had had much the same intentions as herself.

Sarah took a gulp of her water, studied it a moment. "I don't know. I don't think she's lying."

"But she's not telling us everything."

"Definitely not. Probably thinks we're silly humans and wouldn't understand." She smiled as she caught Rose's eye. "Not so different from the Doctor."

"He'd explain," said Rose. "It just wouldn't be intelligible."

"I suppose so." She sat down, took another sip. "Strange, isn't it? She travelled with him too. He wouldn't have had to leave her behind. I wonder if she left him."

"I can't imagine ever leaving the Doctor," said Rose without thinking. "Without being forced to, I mean." She stirred her hot chocolate, began to drink it in gulps. "Wish I knew where he was."

"I want to know what he's done."

Rose shrugged. "We'll find out soon enough, I guess."

* * *

Romana's eyes were fixed on the image in her mirror that shouldn't have been there. She knew perfectly well it wasn't real, but she couldn't draw her eyes away.

The image had not always been there, it had begun as only a feeling. One that she did not understand. It had been present when she slept, stirring somewhere in her darkened room, and she had almost grown accustomed to it until its presence had manifested in the mirror.

Sometimes distance, sometime too close. It was close now, more often than not. And Romana feared the day when it would move through the mirror; a feeling become an image become solid and real.

Some night before it had stopped being _it_ and become _she_ in her mind. The image was a little girl, no older than eight. Pale features and large round eyes that watched Romana. Saw her through the glass.

The child-ghost with _his_ eyes that watched her.

It was a cruel thing to do, and she hated him for it. 


	3. The Haunting

_Pain, her talons shred the flesh from bone and her teeth shine with stolen blood. And the Lords of Time bound her in the last Great Tower. Kept her until they needed her, for she was their greatest weapon of all._  
_ - The Book of Rassilon_

Sarah waited by the fountain.

Spare parts, Romana had said, and no, she didn't need their help. Content yourselves and I'll be back in an hour, she'd said. Do try not to get lost had been added more as an afterthought.

The mention of the fact that this world looked like anything but a spare parts repository for a highly advanced time machine had been met by a roll of the eyes and a mutter: "Humans."

Rose had wanted to stay in the TARDIS, and Sarah imagined that whatever Rose felt, it was a lot sharper than her own reaction. She, at least, had a few decades distance from her travels with the Doctor, and it gave her a little more objectivity, she supposed.

So she had stretched her legs, wandered the sandy little streets full of dark shops and scuttling aliens and now she sat, enjoying the spray of cold water in the hot afternoon sun. The wonder of a new world never wore off. She smiled at the purple sky, not caring what any of the passers-by thought.

But she couldn't ignore the quiet sensation murmuring at the back of her mind. Because this wasn't anything like it was before. The Doctor was out there, somewhere, hunting for them. But when she thought of him, she couldn't believe that he could possibly mean them any harm. Still she believed Romana's warning, and she did not want the Doctor to find her, or the others.

She glanced into the pool of the fountain, caught by the strangeness of her reflection. The water rippled, yet the reflection remained steady.

But it wasn't her anymore. It was the Doctor. The face she had known longest. Curly hair and bright blue eyes, watching her from the water.

"Doctor?" she whispered, not daring to move.

His image seemed to smile as it faded away. Sarah blinked. It was gone and her own distorted reflection appeared. She stood up, cold despite the sun, and wanted nothing more than to get back to Romana's TARDIS as quickly as possible.

She began to walk, quick steps, pulled her leather jacket close. It was getting dark, much too quickly, and she realised that her coldness was not just to do with her fear.

There was a shriek from the sky: a long screech of a noise, a warning, a war-cry, perhaps. But it was something that cut straight through her. A noise that she did not want to hear again.

She looked up, saw dark shapes careening between the clouds. Huge - frighteningly huge - their wings blocking out the sun. And they were getting closer.

Sarah began to run. And the city ran around her, the shrieks coming from the ground now.

Romana found her before she was halfway to the TARDIS. "What are they?" managed Sarah, her breathing sharp, painful in her chest. She definitely didn't have the stamina she used to.

"You don't recognise them?" Romana's voice was perfectly even, her running steady. Sarah guessed she could go a lot faster, had she wanted. A backpack was slung over her shoulder. Hopefully she'd found whatever it was she had been looking for here.

"Wouldn't ask if I did," said Sarah, meaning to be sharp, but not quite managing. Romana smiled, caught her eye.

"They're the Krillitane," she said. "They've evolved."

"Big, aren't they?"

"Mmm. Nothing we can do about that. Come _on_." Romana grabbed Sarah's hand. So like, so unlike, the Doctor's: her skin was smoother, the fingers smaller as they wrapped around hers, but she could feel her own heart beating with just the same excitement as before.

She glanced back as the screams rose to panic pitch.

_Keep running._

* * *

There was a sadness to the Doctor as he climbed the tower. He knew that he didn't have to walk, count those steps, take this time to move from one place to another.

He did so as the only apology he could offer. The one in the tower could never be free again.

Her flesh was bloody, dripped off her bones. Fingernails, sharp and long, clawing at her face, revealing white bone. Her hair was warm, red, knotted back at the nape of the neck. Her dress torn to shreds, but her eyes were real. Oh, her eyes were real and they stared at the Doctor, stared through him.

She shrieked and spat in his face. Clawing with one hand. Bu she never reached him, could never reach him now. Never reach anyone ever again.

"My sisters will have your soul," she said. The voice was knife-sharp, and it sank through his skin, a thousand pins piercing him. "This is a violation, Time Lord."

"I'll lock this door and I'll walk away," said the Doctor. "I'll destroy the key. I can do that now. You know I can."

"You have no right!"

"There'll be no mistake made this time. There won't be anyone to let you go, or even know that you existed."

"You bind me, but you will not rend me from yourself. I take you, Time Lord, and I tell you that you will always remember pain."

The Doctor nodded. "I'll find a way. I'm still learning, after all. But you'll never hurt anyone ever again." He turned on his heel.

"I never did!" shrieked Pain as the door slammed shut. The Doctor locked it, put the key in his pocket.

On the way down, the steps seemed to go on forever.

* * *

They found Rose in the cloister room, pacing. The TARDIS had let her find the room earlier in the morning, after she had told Romana she needed some time alone. Time to think. The pacing helped, a little.

Sarah looked flustered, hair astray and skin flushed. She'd been running, "What happened?" asked Rose.

"The Krillitane," Romana told her, striding into the long room, taking a seat on one of the little stone benches. She waved at the seat opposite, inviting Rose and Sarah to sit too. "Remember that they gained the same power as the Doctor."

"Those people," said Sarah. "They swallowed them whole. Couldn't we have done something?"

Romana shook her head. "Against so many? You saw them. Even without the powers the equation has given them, those weren't creatures we could fight without a great deal of preparation."

"But they _were_ feeding?" asked Rose.

"Oh yes. I imagine that even as gods they wouldn't want to give up all their sensory pleasures. But don't judge them too harshly. In their way they've done a lot of good. And given us the chance we need to make things right."

Rose leaned back against a pillar. Grey stone, intricate carvings and ivy winding up and into the darkness of a starless sky. "Why's that then?"

"There's a lot more of them than there are of the Doctor," Romana told her.

"Yeah, but the Doctor's a Time Lord. Doesn't that count for something?"

Romana nodded. "It began at an impasse, but the Doctor's a quick learner and a brilliant improviser. The Krillitane were willing to listen to him, at the beginning, but their first concern was for their species. The Doctor's was…something else. He kept to himself the parts of him that they wanted and so now they fight. And the Krillitane are slowing him down, but they are losing that war." She looked away, her eyes cast in shadow, in memory. "The Krillitane are a plague on the cosmos, sweeping from world to world, feeding and taking all they want from each population they consume. They lack imagination, and rely on the invention and evolution of other species to improve themselves. The Doctor does not."

"One omnipotent being trying to kill another," said Sarah. "Is that even possible?"

Romana shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'd think so, somehow. The important thing is that there are other beings out there with power comparable to the Doctor's. This isn't the first time the Skasis Paradigm has been solved."

"Couldn't we do that?" asked Rose. "Solve the Paradigm, I mean."

"No," was Romana's short reply. "No," she repeated. "I wouldn't know how to begin, and even if we could it would be far too dangerous."

"But you do have a plan, right? We can save the Doctor?"

Romana stared at her, and in those moments there was no doubt left in Rose's mind that she was a Time Lord. All that intensity that she had come to associate with the Doctor was there, in those eyes that were watching her now, but the familiar exhilaration was fermented into fear.

She shook it off. She wasn't afraid, not of the Doctor and not of Romana. "Well?" she insisted.

"I do. But I can't tell you. It wouldn't be safe."

Rose folded her arms. "Right. So we're supposed to trust you, and you won't trust us."

Sarah was more diplomatic. "Wouldn't it be easier for us to help if we knew what was going on?"

"I don't know…I…you're bleeding." Romana was staring at Sarah's ankle, remembering she had tripped on the way back to the TARDIS, but had thought nothing more of it. Neither had Sarah. But there was an open wound on her leg, a nastier stumble than she had thought. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"I'll go clean it up," said Sarah, using her fingers to apply pressure. She didn't wince, frowned. "It doesn't hurt at all. Isn't that strange?"

Romana was on her feet and running. Raced to the console room, followed by Rose and Sarah. Her eyes scanned the readouts, comparing the numbers to the ones she held in her head. The universe, held together by mathematics and now there was another part that refused to add up. As her hands moved across the console making delicate adjustments, she glanced up at Sarah. "How are you feeling now?"

Sarah's eyes widened in surprise. "It stings." She shifted her weight to her other foot. "What did you do?"

"I think we're running out of time," Romana told her. "The Doctor's started to interfere with the universal constants. He's started to make changes on a grand scale. I've managed to seal off the TARDIS, but those effects will be dripping through the time-lines now." She bit her lip. "But pain's a warning as much as anything else, and without that…we'd better leave this galaxy altogether. He'll be after the Krillitanes on that planet now, that's something anyway." She was talking to herself, Sarah and Rose none the wiser as to what she was planning, but neither had forgotten.

Rose stepped forward. "Answers. Now."

"Library," said Romana, still working at the console. "You'll want the Gallifreyan texts. The TARDIS will translate them, don't worry about that. Look for the Book of Rassilon."

* * *

While Sarah went to bandage her ankle, Rose searched for the library. A very quick search now that Romana had told her she could find it. And she found the book that Romana had suggested very near the door, sitting next to a plush sofa and a little table.

As it turned out, the Book of Rassilon wasn't a book at all. It was a lot of books. A lot of very thick, very heavy books with very thin pages. Rose took the first one, sat down with it on her lap and opened it to the first page. She began to read: _In the beginning, there was understanding._

She frowned as she continued to read. These really weren't the sort of answers she was looking for.

* * *

Sarah found the first aid box under her bed and decided that Romana's TARDIS was a great deal better organised than the Doctor's. She cleaned her wound, disinfected and bandaged it. It still hurt.

She intended to go and find Rose, but the sight of her bed was so very tempting. She really wasn't cut out for this sort of life anymore, she thought, perfectly sure that she never used to feel this tired after so little time racing about an alien world.

Her shoes kicked off, she stretched out on the bed, closed her eyes.

Something behind her eyes flickered.

It wasn't a dream at all, but a memory.

The fear was real, and the corridor was gun-metal grey. She knew what was around the corners. Knew how close to death she had come here, how she had seen so many die. How everyone would die before they had finished and any lingering hope she had held as she and Harry and the Doctor had disappeared was gone now as the memory sharpened.

It was Skaro. In the Kaled bunker, and she was only a few metres from the room where the Dalek life form had been created.

Sarah was a phantom, watching her younger self. So young, so very young. She would not mourn her lost youth, she would not. The woman crouched by the Doctor was still a part of her.

"You must complete your mission for the Time Lords," she held herself say, her voice so desperate, so certain.

And she wondered then whether that was why it had been so difficult for him, because it was _them_ that had sent him here, told him what to do. Given him three options, and he had been allowed no other choice. So in the end, he had made the choice they had not given him. And the Daleks had lived.

"Do I have that right?" He had heard her, she knew that, but he could only see those two wires, one in each hand. An inch or two separating them. So little distance, such a small thing. Just touch them together. All he had to do was touch them together.

She watched, entranced, though she knew that nothing would change. The Doctor would run from his responsibilities, and she would run right along with him.

A voice that shouldn't be here: "Oh Sarah Jane, why didn't I listen to you?"

She looked over her shoulder to find another phantom, another Doctor. He seemed not to see her, had eyes only for his previous self. He stepped forward, stepped through her and snatched the wires from the other Doctor.

Sarah woke up shivering.

* * *

"How much of this is true?"

Rose had been reading for almost an hour before Romana made an appearance. She seemed almost tired, collapsing into the stuffed chair opposite Rose and lying back as though she wished to sleep.

"All of it." She paused, reconsidered. "Well, most of it. In a manner of speaking. Sort of."

"Thanks, that's really helpful."

Romana sat up, rested her head in her hands. "It's real to _me_ then. To Time Lords. We've a lot more senses than most humanoids, so the way we see the universe is a little different. Mostly helpful, but sometimes your limitations protect you." She glanced down at the book. "Time, for instance, would hurt me a lot more than she could hurt you."

"But this book makes the Time Lords sound like gods," said Rose.

"And they thought they were," Romana told her. "A very long time ago. They built the foundations upon which we rest reality, so Rassilon tells us. But he's probably just taking credit for someone else's work. What he did do though, what the Time Lords did then, as we emerged from the Dark Times, was use our powers to create the Time Vortex."

"So the Time Lords _were_ like gods?"

"I wouldn't say so. They were a cruel and vicious people. Power is not divinity, Rose. Have you read about the Three Sisters yet?" Rose nodded. "Those were the gods the Time Lords created, and they survived our fall. Our invisible legacy. Now the Doctor's trying to destroy them."

"They're important?"

"Oh yes. I suppose you'll see eventually, when I've worked out where we have to go."

Rose, silent a moment, then asked suddenly, incase she changed her mind. "What's happened to Earth?"

"Not a lot. Not compared to what could happen." Rose wasn't satisfied; Romana relented. "Little things at first." She smiled, said, "You know what the first thing he did was? Let the Greens win. Everywhere. Environmentalists had taken over the world in a bloodless revolution."

"That doesn't sound so bad," said Rose carefully.

"Except a lot of people didn't want the environmentalists in power. A lot of people didn't want them in power very, very badly. So he had to take away their weapons. Big ones at first, then smaller and smaller, till all that was left were fists. And, well, he wasn't quite ready to start rearranging the body parts of humanity."

"Couldn't they make more? Weapons, I mean?"

"They didn't know how anymore. But then that knowledge is connected to an awful lot of other things. Logic, he decided, was a terribly over-rated concept. But living in an illogical universe didn't help the humans stay sane for very long. They were still mostly themselves, after all, and they were still fighting, only now it was the biggest and the strongest who would win in little meaningless fights everywhere, all the time. Civilisation fell into barbarity." She looked at Rose, her gaze intense. "Though you must remember all of this happened so very quickly, not even a moment passed between the changes. But the TARDIS recorded it all. Each problem was immediately met in his mind with a solution that merely required the exercise of his will to become reality. But reality was too complicated, so he's left Earth much as it was, for now. Those who are changed are people that knew him once." She sighed. "The final answer will seem inevitable to him eventually, but for now he's still trying to find another way."

Rose considered what she'd said. "So by destroying what the Time Lords created…he's taking away the limits that the Time Lords imposed on the universe, on reality." She glanced at the book, the elegant text. "But what's the final answer?"

"He makes the universe a simpler place."

"No pain, no death." Rose understood, looked at Romana "No free will."

Romana nodded. "Just his will. So much simpler, isn't it?" 


	4. The Old Truth

_Death, her breath black mist and her eyes empty pits. And the Lords of Time gave themselves twelve chances to cheat her will. Then they set her loose within the Great Web, and let her reap.  
-The Book of Rassilon_

Immortality was a curse, not a blessing. The phrase seemed to be a favourite of Rassilon's and Rose was growing tired of it._I get it, I get it. Now shut up about it._

Sick of reading, she slammed the book shut. It was late, and she wondered where Sarah was. She'd probably done the sensible thing and gone to bed hours ago.

Though she thought of making her way to her own room, Rose found herself stepping through the little archway that led into the console room instead. Romana was there, her head under the console, a toolbox by her knees.

Rose crept across the floor, peered into the box. Neat, compartmentalised, and she bet that Romana actually knew what she was doing under the console too.

"You couldn't hand me the Zeus plugs, could you?" asked Romana.

"Um, yeah, sure." She spotted them immediately, passed them under the console. "You got the parts you needed then?"

"Mmhmm." There was a click, a buzz and then Romana's head appeared. "Thank you." She stood, brushed herself down and closed up the toolbox, every tool in its place. "Can't sleep? I'd have thought those tedious volumes would have left you dozing hours ago."

"I…" _Pull yourself together_. "I was going to go get some sleep. There was just something I wanted to ask you first."

"I'm not sure I could explain things any better than the books. Though it's not as though they explain it very clearly anyway. Besides it's all a bit metaphysical for my taste."

"It's not about that."

"Oh?"

"It's about the Doctor. Before, I mean. When you knew him before." Romana waited patiently, Rose forced herself to go on. "He told me that he always had to leave everyone behind. Cause he'd outlive them, but you travelled with him, and you're one of his people. Why did he leave you?"

"He didn't. I left him." She took in Rose's expression. "It's not that surprising, is it?"

"I…I don't know. I'd never really thought about it, before. I just…" She wished she'd never started this. "I don't know what I thought. I know I never thought about leaving him. We got split up all the time, but I always thought he'd find me or I'd find him and it'd be okay. We'd still be together."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

She took a deep breath. "I miss him."

"If he finds you, you'll never miss anything again," she reminded her.

"Aren't you frightened?" asked Rose.

"Not particularly," Romana told her. "Not yet anyway."

* * *

Morning. A quick breakfast and all three were in the console room. A quick lesson on the controls of the TARDIS whilst they were in flight, for Romana had no qualms about teaching them such things. Not when she was well-aware of what might happen to her, and how very resilient the more ephemeral races were.

"We're landing," she noted. Flicked the switch that controlled the scanner. A flat picture, appearing to one side of the room from nowhere. It showed a desolate world with a dark sky, pierced by a striking array of stars.

Sarah frowned, the landscape seemed familiar. "I think I've been here before."

"Karn?"

"Yes, that's it. We were sent here, the Doctor and I, ages ago. And there was this Sisterhood that tried to burn the Doctor alive."

"Yes, well." Romana smiled. "Let's try to be diplomatic, shall we?"

* * *

"You've been killing my people."

Brother Lassa felt the rage flow through him, embraced it, revelled in the power it gave him. He had been right about the Doctor; the Krillitane had needed his wisdom. Their plan had given them the potential to become gods but they had lacked the mental resources to utilise it. Even the Doctor had needed time to understand.

But beyond those first few minutes, the Doctor had kept his wisdom to himself. Gone on without Lassa and his brothers. Cast them off, forgotten them.

But now he would know what they had become. And he would share his wisdom, his genius, willing or not.

The Doctor shrugged. "Not so much killing as putting out of the way. You see, they weren't being very nice, Mr. Finch. They weren't being very nice at all." He leaned in, whispered in Lassa's still very human-looking ear. "I don't like people who aren't nice, Mr. Finch."

"I don't care what you like, Doctor," Finch said, his voice equally low. He could feel the Doctor's breath against his skin, cool and alien. He could feel what the Doctor was, that this was only a part of him standing here. The rest, surely occupied in the building of a strange empire that Lassa could not comprehend, fractured through time. 

He offered the Doctor one last chance, for he was not a capricious creature. "Let us in," he said. "Let us share. Join. There should be no discord in Heaven."

"No, I don't think so. Cause I've got my own ideas, and really, to be honest - and I do try to be honest - they're much better than yours. I'm fixing things. You…all I've seen you lot do is sweep in on innocent worlds and glut yourselves till there's nothing left. So that's going to stop. Right now."

"It will not."

"Actually, yes, it will. You've had your warning. In fact, you've had two warnings, which really was very, very generous of me. But that's all you're getting." He stepped away, raised his hands. "You're all going home."

"What can you do to us, Doctor? We are your equals. And there are a great many more of us than there are of you." And Lassa no longer stood alone, but those brothers who had shared his victory on Earth stepped from the shadows, clothed in their human forms and surrounding the Doctor.

The Doctor grinned. "Just a big family reunion, isn't it?" He spun round, checking they were all there. "That's just great. Cause it saves me a bit of time, and I've got so much to do. Universe is a big place and all that."

One of the Krillitane broke rank, stepped forward with a snarl, teeth bared. The Doctor didn't even look at him, pointed a finger. "Go home," he whispered. The Krillitane vanished.

"What have you done?" demanded Lassa.

"The problem is," said the Doctor, "that you lot were just a bit too keen with the whole being a god thing. So you go get all these nifty powers and you've got all this potential just sitting there, inside your heads or the tips of your fingers and none of you know what to do with it. You think the same thoughts you've always had, do the same things you've always done. Just bigger and more destructive and deadly. And I just can't allow that."

He pointed to another Krillitane. And it too disappeared. "So me, being oh-so-much smarter than any of you, is left to work out what all these things are that you can do now. Then, of course, I have to come and find you before you find out, and stop you doing something truly terrible to creation."

Another Krillitane gone. "I'm quite fond of creation. I just want to make it a bit better. And that's not as easy as it sounds, and it's certainly not made any less complicated by you lot flitting around destroying my good work." And another. "So you're all going back to the world you've come from and you're not getting off of it. You'll stay there, harmless and out of the way until I decide what would be best for you." He smiled, waved away another Krillitane. "But don't worry, Mr. Finch, you won't remember, and you'll be very, very happy. Promise."

A final careless wave of his hand; the deed was done.

* * *

There was a welcoming party. Three sisters, each carrying a flaming torch, wound their way down into the desolate valley where the TARDIS had landed. Romana led their little group to meet them, using her own high wattage torch to pick out the way along the path.

"Bit primitive, aren't they?" said Rose. "Thought you said this lot were like the Time Lords."

"They are," Romana told her, keeping her voice low. "In here." She tapped her temple. "But they eschew technology in favour of developing the psyche and its natural powers. At least that's what I've read; I've never been here before." She glanced up at the sky. "It's only a few billion miles from home."

The three Sisters glided to a halt before them. All draped in ruby red robes that glittered with gold, their faces painted pale save their brows and cheekbones, displaying red and golden images of flames.

The first Sister gave a slight bow before she addressed Romana. "Time Lord, we were not informed of your arrival."

Romana gave her most charming smile. "It's just a passing visit, I'm afraid. I spoke to your leader a few days ago and just thought it might be polite to pop in and say hello personally. This is Rose and Sarah, by the way."

"Humans," said the Sister. "And I remember this one. She was here with the…with _him_ many decades ago. Come then, if it is as you say the High One will wish to speak to you."

The way to the shrine was not so very different from the route Sarah remembered, though they approached it from a slightly different direction. She looked up at the cliff tops, saw the castle there - though, once, it had been a hydrogen plant and, indeed, the world had contained a thriving civilisation - and its crumbling towers. She hoped that no-one lived there now.

They passed the guards, still and silent, and their guides led them through the deep cut passages in the rocks to where the Sisterhood of Karn lived. There, in the shrine, more Sisters were waiting, and at their centre sat the oldest of their number - though she looked no older than Romana herself - and a woman that Sarah remembered well from her last visit to this world.

Ohica stood, spoke, her speech stilted with formality. "I lead the Sisterhood. Who are you, Time Lord? Why are you here? We have no interest in Gallifrey now."

"My name is Romana, and I'm not a part of the Gallifrey that you know. You responded to my message, do you remember me?"

Ohica nodded. "The Doctor has not returned since he first changed your civilisation. He had little interest in us, though less disapproval than his last visit." She shot a look at Sarah, for a moment her eyes were frighteningly wide.

"Then we must speak alone," Romana said.

"As you wish." Ohica led her from the chamber. Rose, determined to follow, was waved back by Romana.

As they disappeared into the tunnels, another Sister approached Sarah and Rose. "You have the freedom of our home, but do not approach the flame." She pointed to a great flat part of the rock wall, a metal door bolted shut over part of it.

"Why? What is it?" asked Rose.

"Sacred," the Sister told her before turning away.

Rose was about to insist on a less cryptic answer when Sarah pulled her away. "It's just what they said, a flame. And it makes their Elixir of Life, gives them immortality."

"Like the Time Lords," murmured Rose.

They were alone now, the Sisters drifting past them as though they were not there, continuing with whatever tasks they had. "Wonder what she had to say to Ohica," said Sarah. "I didn't know about any message."

"Neither did I." Rose spoke quietly. "They can't have gone far, and I'm not happy about being kept out of the loop like this. I want to help the Doctor and I can't do that if I don't know what she's planning to do."

Sarah nodded. "Alright. But she's not exactly an open book. What can we-?"

"Come on ." Rose's hand slipped into Sarah's, and she pulled her into the tunnel that Romana and Ohica had entered. "You've been here before," Rose murmured as they approached the first junction. "Which way d'you think?"

One tunnel looked much the same as another, but eventually the sound of voices guided the pair to their target. They crept carefully around corners, backs to the wall, determined to get as close as possible.

Rose stopped, fingers squeezing Sarah's hand, a signal to stop. They crouched, they listened. It was Ohica that was talking, her voice carrying mild irritation.

"Speak softly," she said. "He has sent his spies out through the time-lines and we fear we may not be able to shield against them all."

"I'm surprised you think you can shield against him at all. Your Sisters never felt my TARDIS materialise. I doubt the Doctor will announce himself."

"We have some protection."

"As Gallifrey had protection?"

Silence. Rose strained to see what was going on. Caught a flicker of movement. "If it is ordained, we accept our fate."

"Oh, what rot," snapped Romana. "Pull yourself together. This a Time lord we're talking about, no different to any other Time Lord, even if he has got hold of some things he shouldn't have. Is this how you reacted when Morbius invaded your world?"

"The old enemy," murmured Ohica. "But the Doctor is no ordinary Time Lord now. We cannot touch him. Morbius could be put in a dispersal chamber, atomised, his followers arrested and tried. He did not have the Doctor's power."

"That doesn't matter. The threat is the same: annihilation. You understand what will happen better than anyone. Should the whole universe become as stagnant as your Sisterhood?"

"You insult us."

"Nothing changes here. Nothing ever changes. And that's the path the Doctor's on, because he wants to stop the pain and the sorrow of living."

"The Doctor brought us change."

"And?"

"We are an ancient order, Time Lord. Change did not come easily to us, but at that moment it saved us. I know my mind, and I know he would take the sacred flame from us because it would have no place in his creation. Life would not be protected or cherished. My Sisters and I have retrieved what you asked, though we did not understand why."

"You sensed nothing from it?" A flutter of worry.

"We did not. It was as it appeared to be."

"May I?"

A soft rustling of cloth. A mechanical noise. Rose glanced at Sarah, questioning. Sarah's reply was a shrug.

"Thank you, Ohica. I won't forget this."

"Nor will you long remember, should you succeed."

"There's no alternative. Besides, I remember dying before and it wasn't too bad."

"I do not understand you."

"That's terribly flattering." Three quick steps. "All right, you two, out you come."

"Oh, hello," said Sarah, standing and looking very surprised. "I think we took a wrong turn somewhere."

"A very wrong turn," agreed Romana.

Rose took a better look round the corner. A cul-de-sac, unremarkable and empty. "So where is it?"

Romana raised an eyebrow. "Where's what?" she asked, all innocence.

"Look, we know you-"

"Listen!" Ohica's eyes were wide. "The winds are screaming. You must go. All of you must go. Now. Quickly."

"Move," Romana ordered.

Rose and Sarah led the way back to the shrine, Romana and Ohica keeping pace behind.

"You said he would not be seen," said Ohica. "But his thoughts are here, drifting this way. A storm on the winds." She sat, raised her arms. "Sisters! We must form a circle. Quickly now, quickly." A glance to Romana. "We offer what protection we can to your flight, but you must go. Go now."

* * *

The bar was packed, but everyone was giving the woman in the black leather plenty of space, a wide-semi-circle of space, as she perched on her barstool and ordered another double of whisky.

She wore silver glasses, opaque lenses, hiding the fact that her eye-sockets were more than empty. Dark holes that one could die in should they stare too long.

Death was trying to get drunk.

She'd have been amused if she didn't have a very good reason for the attempt. She'd led a skilled chase, but he was close now and she was much too tired. Too tired to be childish and make a corpse of every patron in the bar; too tired to just keep running out of sheer stubbornness until he forced her to stop.

Instead, she'd picked the place were it'd end: a nameless bar on a rundown space station in the most uncivilised spiral of the Milky Way. Anonymous and inauspicious. She wouldn't give him an opportunity for grandiose gestures, and someone should remember this spiral the way it was meant to be.

"Get you a drink?"

"Piss off." Death didn't even bother to try and strike him down. He'd probably laugh and that'd put her in an even worse mood.

"Now that's not very nice," said the Doctor. "Just being friendly."

"I know why you're here, you jumped up little half-breed." She downed her whisky. "So quit playing your stupid games and get on with it."

The Doctor shrugged. "Have it your own way."

And then there wasn't a wide semi-circle of space at the bar anymore.

Behind him, the Doctor's TARDIS materialised.

He ran to her, fingertips running along her worn paintwork. "What is it?" he asked. "Have you found something? Someone? Oh, clever girl."

* * *

"What'll happen to them?" asked Rose, the TARDIS safely dematerialised and Romana sending them spiralling back in time, the Sisterhood lost in the wind.

"Rose, please, I'm trying to calculate co-ordinates." She didn't even look up from the console.

"Come on," said Sarah, guiding her out of the room. "Another cup of tea, I think."

"This is just so frustrating," muttered Rose as she sat down. Sarah clicked the kettle on, began the regular ritual. "I feel like we should be doing something. She's worse than the Doctor, there's barely even a chance to go wandering off."

"And yet we're still kept at arm's length whenever we ask about what she's actually going to do." Milk. Sugar. Stir. She handed Rose her cup of tea. "She's protecting us."

Rose took a gulp of tea. "I guess so. But I just wish that I could talk to him. Just…" She took a deep breath. More tea. "You'd think with all the life in the universe there'd be someone around for the big emergencies who'd be able to fix things like that." She snapped her fingers.

"Oh, I suppose someone in one of the upper dimensions will notice eventually," said Romana airily, breezing into the kitchen. "But by then it'll be much too late." She took a packet of biscuits from the cupboard - chocolate hob-nobs - and sat down next to Rose. "There's a lot of life forms that could interfere, and some that really should interfere, but I'm afraid nobody actually will interfere until their own existence is threatened. And virtually no-one with that sort of power bothers with this physical reality."

"So it's up to us?" said Rose.

Romana grinned, bit down on a biscuit. "Cheering thought, isn't it?"

And when she blinked, the image of the little girl in the mirror flickered behind her eyes. 


	5. The Cambridge Professor

_And the time winds shall be tamed and the time storms shall be weathered and we shall have mastery over all possible futures._

_ - The Book of Rassilon_

The first time, he found them.

Once again, Romana had refused to tell them what they were doing on the particular planet that they were visiting, muttering something incomprehensibly vague about spare parts and temporal incursions and risk management.

"I'm far too old for this," said Sarah, not for the first time since they had begun the long winding walk, that had often turned into a climb, up the mountain that Romana was very, very interested in.

"Nonsense," was Romana's expected response. "Why, I once met a human who was a hundred and five when he scaled Everest."

"Fibber," said Rose.

Romana threw a smile over her shoulder. "Well, it was in the thirty-first century, and he did use a customised hover car. But even so, it's a perfectly valid point."

"The wind's getting up," called Sarah, at the back of the little group. "You sure we'll be okay?"

"Not far to go now," Romana told her.

"Right," murmured Sarah, taking a cautious look over the cliff. Such a long way up, but her vertigo was nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Still, it wasn't pleasant. "Couldn't we have materialised a little closer?"

"Not possible. Too much interference."

The final few metres, then a great hollow in the mountain face, almost a cave, and with plenty of overhang for shelter. Romana led them inside. "Everyone make it?"

"Just about." Sarah wrapped her arms around herself, grateful for the protection from the wind. "Can't wait till we have to go back down."

"Yes, well, we'll take it slowly, don't worry. Just give me a minute."

"Where are you going?" asked Rose. "Where's this cave thing lead too?"

"Absolutely nowhere," Romana told her. "But it used to be used as shelter when the humanoids on this planet were less technologically developed. And they've left behind something I'm interested in. Won't be a moment."

She practically skipped across the uneven surface, giving Rose no time to respond. Instead, she huddled next to Sarah, both shivering with the cold.

"Easy for them to forget, isn't it?" said Sarah.

"The TARDIS scanners didn't say it was going to be this cold."

"Ever reliable."

"Yeah, but it's not the Doctor's TARDIS, is it? Can't imagine her ever letting anything stay in less than perfect condition."

Romana was quick. Moved with all the skill of a dancer across the cave floor, avoided gaps and gashes in the rock till she had found what she was looking for. The dropping temperature, the quickening wind and the fluttering in the back of her mind told her they didn't have much time at all.

She caught his image in her peripheral vision, refused to look more closely.

"This isn't the universe you want, Doctor. It is nothing; it is meaningless," she murmured, collecting her prize.

She stood, she saw him.

Romana ran.

The image followed.

Outside the rocks, the wind began to howl.

"Sausages!" Romana spat. "Everyone just the same. Everyone in your perfect image of what they should be."

She could see Sarah and Rose looking at her, a little distance away. Worry. Confusion. A little fear.

"Back to the TARDIS!" she shouted. "Quick as you can!"

They didn't waste any time. Rose scrambled to her feet, helped Sarah up, and they were out of the protection of the cave, moved down the mountainside as quickly as they were able, holding onto each other as they went.

Somewhere else, the Doctor grimaced. "It's not like that."

Romana fled the cave, but made sure she stayed some distance behind Rose and Sarah. "You're blind. You've become a part of your own monstrosity."

"They're happy, Romana. You would be happy too." Worlds spun in her vision. She focussed on the rock, her fingers pressing into the cracks and recesses as she moved.

The wind _had_ picked up, to a shriek that cut through her clothes. Hair in her face, and her hat lost somewhere down the mountainside.

She kept moving, straining to see the others ahead of her. Still, she could not ignore the Doctor. "But I wouldn't be _me_."

"You would. To me."

"Look at your friends, Doctor. Look at them run. They don't want any part in this."

He was quiet a moment, she used it to regain her balance. He said, "They don't understand. They're so small. So human."

She felt his attention fall away from her. Knew the danger if he became too interested in them. Outside her TARDIS, they were so very vulnerable. She brought the image that had haunted her to mind. "You take away pain from the cosmos and yet inflict it on me."

"Romana, I only want-"

"You!"_Move faster._ "What about me? What about me, Doctor? I was dead and gone and probably perfectly happy with whatever happens afterwards."

"Nothing happens afterwards," rumbled the wind, his voice.

"And this?" The child in her mind. "What is this? I never had a child."

"You could have."

"With you?" Her hand caught a rock. Blood, the sting was far too mild. "I was wondering if you had gone quite mad. Thank you for confirming it."

His image, just a phantom, appeared in front of her. "I know what you're thinking and what you've thought, and I know you've thought of her."

The image insubstantial, Romana pushed through it. "Of course I have, why shouldn't I? But I have no family and I was never meant to have one and I certainly don't want one now, thank you very much."

"Then why does she hurt you?" he asked in her head.

"Why are _you_ hurting me?" she snapped back. "What are you doing, Doctor? What have you _become_? Can't you see it?"

She ran faster. Her TARDIS was so close, she could feel it. _Where is she?_

Another twist in the mountain path, a final stretch. No sign of the others. They must be inside, they must be safe. Surely, they must be-

Something was materialising.

"Stay back! Stay away from me." She held up her hands, a warding gesture. But it wasn't magic. Romana clutched the object from the cave behind her fingers.

Somewhere near her the wind stopped.

But she saw the Doctor's blue box materialise between her and her ship.

And through it, the Doctor reached out and touched her.

Romana fought back.

-

Romana felt her TARDIS call out, found her way to the doors, collapsed against them, fell inside and was caught by human hands.

"Romana? Romana, can you hear me? What happened?" Arms strong enough to hold her. That was good. Because she was quite sure wasn't able to hold herself up.

She managed to stumble a few steps, enough to indicate she needed to get to the console. Sarah helped her the rest of the way.

"Just a part of him. Fragmented through time. He'll follow. I need a route. Escape route. Co-ordinates? What are they?" Her hands hovered over the controls. A button. Another. Uncertain. "I'm…not sure…I think…" She fell forward, onto the console, her hesitant hand hitting something, sending the TARDIS into flight as she collapsed.

"Romana!" Sarah lowered her gently to the floor. "What happened out there?"

"She was shouting something about the Doctor," Rose said.

"Did you see anything?"

Rose shook her head. "No, but…I thought they were friends. If he was there…d'you think she'll regenerate?"

Sarah shook her head, uncertain. "I don't know. She's not…no, she's breathing. Her heartbeats are so slow."

"But they're both beating?"

Sarah nodded. "Yes." She looked up. "The Doctor sometimes went into a coma, to heal himself after an injury."

"Yeah, something like that happened after he regenerated the last time. He was alright after a cup of tea though. Think we should get her one?"

"Why not? It won't do any harm, anyway."

Sarah stayed with Romana, found a pillow for her head and covered her with a blanket, while Rose went to make tea. A few minutes and she had returned to the console room. In a moment, the tea was forgotten, placed aside.

Sarah leant against the console, her eyes closed.

"Sarah?" Rose checked her pulse, her breathing. "Sarah, can you hear me?" A gentle shake, no response. "Please, Sarah, please wake up."

She was still.

Rose stood. A few steps back, a few deep breaths. "Right…right." A nervous hand ran through her hair. She wasn't going to panic. On a time-machine, no idea where or when, and the only person onboard who hadn't decided to fall unconscious while they were all in what could generously be described as a lot of trouble.

She tried to think about what the Doctor would do, but that only made her feel worse.

The central column slid to a halt. The TARDIS had landed. Rose switched on the scanner, but it was dark outside. Atmosphere, Earth-normal.

She needed help. Grabbed the torch from the cupboard by the door, thumbed it on, ran outside. Tried not to think of all the places that she didn't want to be.

"Hello!"

No answer. Rose swung the torch round in a wide arc. The light picked out well-stocked bookshelves, a heavy wooden desk, a hat-stand, dark wooden panels, dark drawn curtains. A closed door. She stepped towards it, it opened.

A stranger. Dressed neatly in black, his goatee and dark eyes lending him a satanic air.

"Who're you?" asked Rose, aiming the torch at him as though it were a weapon.

The man blinked in the light. "Young lady, I believe that is the question I should be asking you. These are my rooms that you're in." He switched on the light. Rose blinked at the illumination, the shadows vanished and around her was a very Earth-like, very old-fashioned study.

"Rose. I'm Rose. I need help. My friends are injured."

He frowned, looking over her shoulder. "How extraordinary. I don't recall leaving a boulder in here."

"I…that's mine. Not mine exactly…please, can you call a doctor?"

An uninterpretable look flickered across the man's face. "I've some skill in medicine myself. Perhaps I might assist?"

"Right." She didn't feel the need to explain any further, led the way back into the TARDIS. The utter calmness of the stranger's response to the appearance of her and the TARDIS left her with the feeling that explanations weren't required.

Perhaps this was where Romana had intended to land after all.

His reaction to the console room merely confirmed her suspicions. Not a glance was spared for the architecture or the extraordinary size. Instead he was checking on Romana, on Sarah, and sparing a single glance for the cup of tea.

"What's that?" he asked sharply.

"Just tea…it helped before. When the Doctor regenerated."

"I see." He stood up. "The human's in no immediate danger, I should be able to wake her momentarily."

"Hang on-"

"This one, on the other hand, seems to have been subject to a massive psychic attack. The solution will not be quite so simple. Luckily, I'm a genius. The cure will not be instant, but will take a few hours to implement."

"Isn't this Earth?" asked Rose.

"Quite correct, my dear. Cambridge, in fact. One of the more discreet colleges. I teach here."

"But you're…you're an alien."

"Well, we're all aliens to one another. But no, I'm not indigenous to this planet."

"What're you doing here then? You're not trying to take over the planet or something are you?"

A soft chuckle. "Certainly not. No, I'm here because the Doctor was under the impression that Cambridge is an excellent place for a renegade Time Lord to spend his retirement."

-

Some sort of stimulant that the Professor had given Sarah woke her up after a few minutes. Confused, groggy and not in a particularly good mood, she woke up in a room she didn't recognise, lying on an uncomfortable couch.

"What happened?" she asked Rose, sitting opposite, an anxious look on her face.

"Don't you remember?"

"I…" Sarah closed her eyes, rubbed her forehead. Could feel the headache beginning. "I remember bad dreams."

"I went to get some tea for Romana, and when I came back you were out cold."

Sarah stood up, slowly, unsteadily. "Where are we?"

"The Professor's rooms. He didn't seem very keen on giving a name, but he seemed to know Romana."

Sarah went to the window, took a look outside. Night. She pressed her palm to the cool glass. "Earth?"

"Cambridge."

"Close to home." She smiled, only to herself. "Relatively."

The door opened, their host reappeared. "Your friend is resting. I'm afraid I don't have the skill or technology to completely repair the damage. But with adequate time spent in the zero room, the lasting effects should be minimal."

"Zero room?" asked Rose.

"Don't worry about it, there's one in your TARDIS. And I'm afraid I have been neglecting you. Please, forgive me for being a poor host. Is there anything I can get you?"

"Yeah, I want to know how you know the Doctor," said Rose.

"A very long story, I'm afraid. And it's getting late. Perhaps in the morning. I'm afraid I can only offer you couches and blankets, unless you'd like to return to your ship?"

"We'll stay here," said Sarah quickly. "Thank you."

-

Morning. A fresh sun pouring light in the window.

Romana woke them both, coming in and complaining about the time. "Honestly," Sarah heard her say as she woke, "you humans would just sleep your whole lives away if you could. Come on, chop chop. Work to do."

"S'not morning yet," murmured Rose, stretching, waking. "Got any breakfast?"

"I've had mine," Romana told her tartly.

"There's plenty more." The Professor. Sarah sat up, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Pulled on her boots, and she was dressed. Both she and Rose had slept in their clothes, not willing to be woken at an ungodly hour and expected to run without being decently dressed.

"A cup of tea would be great, thanks," said Sarah. She rubbed her forehead, yawned. "So am I going to have a relapse?" A glance at Romana.

"Shouldn't think so. I imagine your falling unconscious was a side-effect of the Doctor's attack on me. I suppose I mustn't have been able to contain the energy safely unless…you haven't been having bad dreams, have you?"

"No," said Sarah, staring at her hands.

Rose frowned, but said, "So this is where we're supposed to be then?"

"Oh yes." Romana smiled. "You didn't think that wasn't a carefully calculated collapse, did you? I knew precisely what I was doing."

"Course you did," said Rose, thinking of the Doctor. "So what're we here for?"

"All done and dusted. We can leave any time."

"That's not what I asked," insisted Rose. "I get it. We're going round the universe and you're looking for something, or you've got other people to find it. I just want to know what it is. That really so much to ask?"

"Yes," Romana told her. "Look, here's your tea."

A pot, brought by the Professor. Milk and sugar. Sarah poured her cup, added far too much sugar and drank it as fast as she could. "I thought I recognised you," Sarah said to him. "I wasn't sure yesterday, but we've met before, haven't we?"

The Professor raised an eyebrow. "Quite possibly, Miss Smith. But I'm afraid there's a great deal of my life that I can't recall."

Rose watched Romana carefully, so pale now she looked ill. But more than that, a nervousness. "That cause of the Doctor?" asked Rose.

"As you say."

"He changed you, and you're still willing to help us?" she said.

"My dear, while I may not be precisely who I was before, and he was willing to give only the vaguest notions of exactly who that was, I am not a fool. Nor am I a slave. I know my own mind and while I am able I will do whatever I can to prevent his madness from spreading. So I have done as the President has asked." A glance at his watch. "Now if you excuse me, I have a class to teach."

"President?" asked Sarah as the Professor left.

Romana pinched the bridge of her nose, screwing her eyes shut. "Do we really have to talk about this right now?"

"President of the Time Lords? You were in charge?" said Rose.

"I…yes, yes I was in charge. It was all my fault. I lost the war. Can we go now?"

"Romana…" Sarah paused, glanced at Rose. "We didn't know…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Please. Don't." She placed her hands determinedly behind her back, tilted her head, for a moment perfectly regal. "There's still work to do."

The TARDIS, and Rose went to the library while Sarah went to the cloisters and Romana to the zero room.

They were all very quiet for a little while.

-

The second time, they found him.

A break, Romana said, go stretch your legs on a nice, peaceful world. Romana's definition of a nice, peaceful world was entirely different from the Doctor's. On hers there were no death threats, no wars, no rebellions and no real danger of any kind.

Except for the Doctor.

It was him, leaning over a pond. Something in it had caught his attention. He looked up. "Come on, Rose. Come over here. Take a look at this." He stood, hands in his coat pockets. "Amazing."

"Doctor?" Rose asked. "Is that really you?"

He grinned, just like he always grinned. "Course it's me. Took ages to find you before though. What did I tell you about wandering off?"

"I don't…" She stopped, took a breath. "Where've you been then?"

"Oh, here, there. Bit of everywhere. Mostly everywhere." He held out his hand. "I've missed you, Rose. I've been worried about you."

She stared at his hand. Took a step forward. Another. Another.

She ran to him, wrapped her arms around him. Buried her face in her shoulder. He held her, careful, comforting.

"S'alright, Rose," he said as she almost started to sob. "S'alright. Everything's going to be just fine now."

She let go of him, looked up at his face. The eyes staring back, the eyes behind the smile. "Doctor?" she whispered, the creeping fear spreading through her skin. "She said…Romana said you were ill. That you weren't yourself. You are okay though, aren't you? You're…you are you?"

"Course I am," he said.

"No, he's not." Romana. Somewhere behind Rose.

She turned to see Romana focussed on the Doctor, and something in her hand pointed at him. Some sort of weapon. Rose stepped forward, putting herself between the two Time Lords. "Don't," she said. "Please don't. He hasn't done anything. He's himself. You were wrong." She wanted to believe it. She wanted to.

Romana shook her head. "Come away, Rose. Come away now."

Rose felt the Doctor's hand on her shoulder. Protective. Possessive. It chilled her. Suddenly she wanted to run, but she couldn't force her legs to move. Couldn't move at all. "She stays with me," said the Doctor, all the warmth gone from his voice. It was like ice, like rock. Ancient in its force.

Then the hand was gone. Rose could move again, and she moved towards Romana. So did the Doctor. All his attention focussed on her now. On what she held in her hands. "You can't stop me," he said. "You don't want to stop me."

"Yes, I do," said Romana.

"Look," he said, reaching into his pocket. Slowly and smiling like a child. "Here. See. Look what I did." It was a little glass bottle in his hand. Corked. There was something inside. He threw it at Romana, and it landed at her feet.

She glanced down at it. Foolish, only for a second, but the Doctor was eager for her to see the contents. He didn't move. Romana crouched down, picked it up. Her expression hardened. "Rose," she ordered. "Get back to the TARDIS. Now."

Rose ran. Romana's tone had left no room for argument.

Still, the Doctor watched her eagerly. As though looking for praise. "You poor fool," said Romana. And she turned away.

The Doctor let her go. Turned back to the pond, caught his reflection. He stared at it for a little while. Then watched it fade away.

-

"What did he give you?" asked Rose, very quietly. It was the first thing she'd said since they'd left the planet. She'd spent the last few hours in her room, not crying, just watching the walls very, very carefully. Eventually she'd felt ready to ask questions and had gone to find the kitchen, where all three were now sitting.

"Remember those Time Lord books you were reading?" said Romana. Rose nodded. Romana passed her the little bottle.

Holding it up to the light, Rose looked inside. It was a little figure, finely carved, intricately detailed. "Is it real?" she asked.

"It was," confirmed Romana.

Rose looked more closely. A woman, dark-haired and wearing leather. With silver sunglasses hiding her eyes. "Who was she?"

"Death. Our…the Time Lord manifestation of Death."

"What does this mean?" asked Sarah. "You said that she was one of the other gods. One who might be able to stop him. Slow him down."

"He's learning," Romana said. "No pain, no death, just as you said, Rose."

"Perfect," muttered Sarah.

"You think so?" Romana's voice was harsh. "With nothing to believe in, nothing to strive for, what do you think will happen?"

"Nothing," said Rose.

Romana nodded. "Nothing. Ever."

-

The third time, they were still waiting.

Moment  
by  
moment… 


	6. Universal Architecture

**Chapter 5: Universal Architecture**

_Time, the first and the greatest of the Gallifreyan Goddesses. And the Lords of Time made her the Last Guardian of their Great Web of Time. Thus there were endings and beginnings and causes and effects and the Web mapped the course of the universe and would neither flux nor wither nor change._

_- The Book of Rassilon_

"We've got twenty minutes at the outside before the gravity crushes us," said Rose. "You'd better have a good reason for this." 

"I always do," Romana said, smiling from the other side of the console. "Wait for it."

"For what?" asked Sarah.

"For me." A voice that seemed to slide inside Rose's head, melt amongst her thoughts. She glanced at the monitor, active and showing that great hydrogen inrush, event one, the creation of the universe. Back to the earliest times where none of them should have been, but it remained safest of all from the Doctor's interference. These most delicate times still had their guardian.

That guardian flowed through the monitor now, molten light that reformed in the console room, a woman with golden eyes.

"Hi," said Rose.

"Rose, Sarah, this is Time. Time-"

"I know you." Time drifted forwards, reached out to Rose.

"Er…do you?"

"Never mind that," said Romana. "We've got to-"

"No. This is the one who looked into my domain. Yes, I remember her eyes." A laugh, like running water. "Lucky human, had you been one of _them_ I would have struck you down instantly. But it was such a strange thing, I gave you a few minutes. Did you use them well?" She reached out, the part that formed a hand burned against Rose's skin. "You don't remember? You and the ship and my power all in your head."

"Everything has its time," said Rose, the shadow of a memory. "And everything dies." 

"That is my nature."

"Quite. And time _is_ short. My TARDIS can't stay here long."

"Well, Time Lord?" 

"I'm not ready yet."

"Your moment is crumbling." Time raised a hand, above it appeared a classroom, computers, Finch, the Doctor and Sarah and Rose.

"I know," said Romana. "That's why I'm here. I need those seconds stabilised."

"Your _abomination_ will know. I pick my own battlegrounds."

"Don't be stubborn, I need-" 

"Your people broke the covenant, Time Lord. Your creature tore down my sisters from their places in the sky. And I am not your servant."

"But you _are_ losing the war. He's pushing you back, trapping you into the most ancient years of the cosmos. You're hiding in the spaces in-between and if I can find you, so can he."

Time was silent. 

"Well? insisted Romana.

"I will hold it for as long as I can." She faded, gold to white, something so much smaller, no bigger than a hand, taking her place. "Here is your puzzle-piece."

Time gone, in her place a sharp transparent crystal. Smooth edges, hard corners. Bright, glowing from within.

It was Sarah who caught it before it fell.

"Give me that," said Romana, holding out her hand.

"What is it?" asked Sarah, ignoring her hand, eyes on the crystal.

Romana sighed. "You're going to be childish about this, aren't you?"

Sarah passed the crystal to Rose, smiled, eyes innocent. "Oh, just a bit."

* * *

The library, and they sat around the smallest table, a plush chair each. Romana had one of her books open at a diagram, faded, the page scratched with words that neither Sarah nor Rose could make out. 

Romana tapped the complete image, a perfect cube. "The Key to Time," she said. "A very powerful artefact, capable of restoring the balance between good and evil in the universe. Six pieces, scattered throughout time and space, and once they're reassembled-"

"We can stop the Doctor?" asked Sarah.

"Ah, no, not exactly. Neither of you have the knowledge to utilise the potential of the Key, and if I tried that, well, I would be no different to the Doctor."

"Pretty useless artefact," muttered Sarah.

"Well," Romana said, "the ones that normally make use of it aren't around this plane of existence at the moment."

"Why couldn't you use it?" said Rose. "Just to stop him, right, and make things the way they were?"

"Power," Romana said, "is a subtle corruptor, and a great deal more difficult than you imagine to let go of once you have it. No, there's another way, I think. Hope, anyway. Worth a shot at least."

"Six pieces," said Rose, examining the diagram. "How many've we got left to find then?"

"Just the one," Romana told her. "I enlisted some help to pick up some of the others, trying to keep the Doctor from finding out exactly what I was doing, but that doesn't matter anymore. I've had to use them to protect us from him twice now and I don't think he's going to have any trouble working out what we're trying to do." She tried not to think of certain things, tried not to feel guilty about the pieces she had asked others to retrieve.

"One more trip," said Sarah. "Then we can all go home?"

Romana smiled, forcing herself not to remember that one of the pieces had once worn her face. A living woman, transformed into crystal for her to use. Had the Sisters retrieved it? Or the Master? No longer so very cruel and twisted with his desire for power, but still quite capable of killing, she thought, then said, "One way or another, I suppose we can."

"Right," said Rose. "So where's this last piece?"

* * *

Romana had never wanted to go back to this Gallifrey. 

Still, here now, she would endure. Rose and Sarah couldn't understand, to them this place was no atrocity, just another alien world.

She walked the strange courtyard alone, looking along the balconies, looking down to where the Panoptican should have been.

Ceremony washed clean.

She'd never held any great love for such things, but now that it had all been stripped away she felt a longing for it. Melancholy, as she walked as an alien on her own world.

Students ran the corridors, laughter and voices echoing. Life bright. This Gallifrey was, had always been, a centre of learning in the galaxy. Its great benign empire sprawling through the spirals of the Milky Way, bringing knowledge and prosperity and peace.

No ivory towers, no dusty old rooms or dusty old men.

She wondered if there was a part of the Doctor here, living out his years in the Academy in a way in which he would have excelled.

She sat to watch the crowds gathering below, uninterested in what they had come to see, wishing only to see their faces, hear the faint murmur of their thoughts.

History scrubbed away, and all their faces looked so very young.

She couldn't believe in it. That was the problem. None of it was real. All some false dream conjured up by a mad god and let loose in reality. Scratch the surface and she'd find there was no depth here. They lived moment to moment to moment, history unravelling behind them.

Why were they so happy? So blind? She could scream. Scream and make them stare. _Do you still feel? Can you feel like I can?_

Silly place for the last piece of the Key to end up. All the Time Lords would do would be keep it in a box, dust it once a century and give it a pretentious name. Then, a few millennia down the road, they'd claim they'd made it and that it was a terribly powerful artefact (she gave them their due: they were usually right about which things were terribly powerful artefacts) and get it off the planet for reasons of safety. 

But who knew what new Gallifrey would have done with it?

When Sarah and Rose found her they were grinning, triumphant.

"Easy as pie," said Sarah, in one hand the last piece of the Key, the other held the tracer, the instrument Romana had constructed to track down the pieces.

"Well," said Romana, forcing herself to smile. "Back to the TARDIS then."

* * *

"Time was right, the Doctor's much too interested in what she's doing. If we approach the time-line at the same point, it could be catastrophic." She looked up from the console, looked at Rose. "We need to distract him." 

"What do I need to do?" asked Rose.

"You know," said Romana, perfectly casually. "If this doesn't work, you'll be stuck somewhere highly unpleasant for a very long time."

Rose met her gaze. "Just tell me what I need to do."

* * *

The spider in the web. The catacomb at the end of the universe. Three people who shouldn't be there. 

Drip, drip, drip of water and scratch, scratch, scratch of writing on the walls.

"Don't," warned Romana as Rose reached out to touch it. "It's recording."

"Recording what?"

"Everything. There are enough walls in this place to remember every event in the universe, right back to the very beginning."

"That's a lot of walls," said Sarah.

"So we don't want to get lost, do we?" said Romana. Rose shook her head. "Good. So stick together and do not touch _anything_."

Sarah didn't want to say it. Rose didn't want to say it. And Romana most certainly did not want to say it. But after several fruitless hours walking corridor after corridor after corridor that looked exactly the same unless you took very careful note of the unknown script that covered every grey surface, they were all beginning to think it. 

And history was written and rewritten before their eyes.

"What if we wrote something?" asked Rose.

"That," Romana told her, "is not paper. What would you suggest we write with?"

"All right. Was just an idea." She resisted the temptation to aim a kick at the wall. "But we are lost, aren't we?"

It was almost a relief to hear it said out loud.

"We…might be," conceded Romana.

"That's just wonderful. It's cold. I'm hungry. Tired. Universe about to end, and we get lost," said Sarah.

"These corridors are theoretically infinite, you know. And it's not as though I had a map," Romana said defensively.

"That's not cheering me up much," said Sarah.

"We should just have materialised in the centre," said Rose.

"That's where _he_ is," Romana reminded her.

"Exactly. We could have made a deal or something. I'd stay willingly, if he let you two go. And then kept his attention long-" 

"Shh!" hissed Romana. "The walls are writing, what makes you think they can't hear?"

"If they can hear, then why doesn't the Doctor know we're here?" was her retort.

"He probably hasn't asked them. Besides these aren't his walls and it's not the sort of question that's likely to come up a lot. This is the end, you know. There's nothing much here. Nothing except this catacomb." She took a deep breath and a moment to straighten her hat. "As for deals, we really have nothing to negotiate with. I'm afraid sneaking you in by the back door is the best we can do."

"What sort of a back door is this?" asked Rose.

"A terribly well hidden one." She waved at the walls. "The distant past, where Time still holds dominion, so the Doctor doesn't have a great deal of say over what gets written here, and he shouldn't come to this part of the catacomb."

"Shouldn't?"

"Well, even if he did, he couldn't do very much. Probably. At least according to the books. What are the chances anyway? Come on, best foot forward."

When Sarah had to insist that they stopped because her boots were killing her feet, they all sat down, broke out a packet of biscuits and bemoaned the lack of tea. And it was strangely comforting in its way.

Sarah closed her eyes, felt herself begin to drift away. But there was an insistent shake on her shoulder. "And don't do that either," said Romana.

"Close my eyes?" Irritation.

"Yes. Well, sleep actually. Don't."

"I wasn't going to," she protested, ignored Romana's sceptical look. "Why not, anyway?"

"Haven't you been having bad dreams?" Romana asked.

Sarah really didn't want to talk about that, but said, "Is it any wonder? Dashing about the universe, being hunted by the man who used to be my best friend and hardly ever getting any straight answers from the person who claims to be protecting me?"

Romana sighed, was diplomatic. "I've been having them too. Not dreams, exactly, I don't need to sleep like you. But it hasn't been easy to rest." She laid a hand against Sarah's shoulder, gentle. "Will you tell me what you saw?"

Sarah felt Romana's eyes on her, looked at Rose instead. "It's mostly memories. Things that happened with the Doctor, the worst things, all the bits I wanted to forget. Pain and dying and all the people we couldn't save." The hand on her shoulder tightened. "He took me back to nineteen eighty once, because something terrible was happening in the past and I was scared and I wanted to run. And when he opened the door there was nothing outside. Earth had been destroyed, would be destroyed, if we didn't go back and face the threat. Stop it, somehow."

"But you did stop it," said Rose. "You must of done."

Sarah nodded. "I only saw a glance of that world then. But now, each night, I see a little more. He's there sometimes, the new Doctor, like a ghost watching. And we go out into the world and walk and there's nothing. Then he stops, tells me to look down. And there's dust on my shoes and clothes, and he tells me that's all that's left of humanity. That all their bones have gone to dust."

"It's alright, Sarah," said Romana. "It's not real, none of it's real."

"How do you know? Some of the memories…he's changing them. Interfering. How do you know it isn't real?"

Romana rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, quiet for a moment. "I don't," she admitted. "I suspect the events are changing, and since you were there the universe is reaching out to change your memories too. And I can't protect against that forever."

"So he _is_ changing me. Despite all this. Despite your protection."

"I do what I can. I'm not infallible. And why didn't you tell me when I asked before about your dreams?" 

"Would it have mattered?"

"I wouldn't have let you come here. You would have been safer in the TARDIS."

"Safe? I haven't been safe since I set foot in that thing! I should have learned…"

"You didn't have a choice."

"No." She sighed. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

Rose stood, hands in her pockets, head tilted up. "Well, let's get on with it then. No point sitting about here moaning, is there?"

Romana looked up at her. "If you've any ideas about how to find your way, do let me know."

"As a matter of fact…I think I do."

"Oh?"

"But you two have to leave. It won't be safe."

Romana frowned, got to her feet. "What do you mean?"

"I…I've been having dreams too. About him. The Doctor. He's…look, I don't want to go into details. But I know I can do it. I can find him. Or he can find me. But if you're here, you won't be safe will you? You need to be back there. Back on Earth, right?"

"Rose…"

"We've trusted you," she said. "Right from the start, and we were right. And you were right. Well, now I'm right. And you've got to trust me."

Sarah scrambled to her feet, reached out to Rose. "What if you can't find him? What if…?" The corridors were long, they were infinite.

"S'not going to be any worse than if I do, I guess. Or if you…" She swallowed, caught Sarah's hand. "You've seen him when you're sleeping, you'd know how to find him, wouldn't you?"

Sarah nodded. "Yes, I think so. But I don't think I'd want to."

"I do," she said. "There still might be some way…if you don't, then there might be some way for me to get him to see what he's doing."

Romana said nothing. Better to hope. Instead she offered her hand. "Good luck, Rose."

"You too." But Rose would not leave it so formal, and pulled Romana into an embrace. Pulled her close, and felt her hearts' beating, alien against her own.

Rose turned to Sarah, Romana stepped away. "Are you sure?" asked Sarah.

"It's the only way, isn't it?"

So Sarah hugged her, warm and tight and she did not want to let go. "I'll see you soon," she whispered fiercely.

Romana took Sarah's hand, led her away. Listened to her TARDIS in her mind, felt the route that would take them to her.

Neither looked back.

And Rose walked on alone.


	7. Mad Times

**Chapter 6: Mad Times**

_I have built the world that will last eternity, witness to the last sunset of creation. We shall stand throughout time, my brothers, my sisters, and we shall be steady in our course through this universe. We are forever.  
- The Book of Rassilon_

Earth sang.

What was death? What was pain? What were endings?

Each lived in the moment, unconnected from the rest. History was no teacher and no mistakes were ever made.

Life. The eternal now.

What a piece of work is man -

-and how he would weep if only he could remember how.

* * *

"I'm here, Doctor." Rose walked, calling when she remembered, resting when she grew weary. "Doctor!"

There was never any answer, only the faint scribbling of the walls writing and rewriting all the histories, all the stories, all the lives. Time was in flux.

Time was losing.

Rose watched the writing a little while, fascinated by the script's movement, but unaware of the consequences, the changes, what it meant, though perhaps she guessed a little of the truth.

She gave up shouting. The Doctor did not come when called, but she did have another way of reaching him.

She lay down, curled up, pulling her jacket close to her chest.

Rose closed her eyes. And though the air was chill and the ground was hard, she found her way into sleep.

* * *

A park of afternoon sun.

There were swings and slides and roundabouts. Children playing.

On a bench nearby sat a daughter-mother-grandmother watching her mother-children-grandchildren. Sometimes she was a young woman, just married. Sometimes old and elegant, matriarch of her family. Often she was little more than a teenager, hair raven-dark and eyes unearthly.

Always she was blissfully happy, waiting for her beloved grandfather to return, except when he was there, which he always was.

He was a young man now, but that didn't matter, because he was older and wiser that he had ever been before.

He told her stories and she listened and laughed and forgot them all as soon as he was gone. He was always-never there and she was always-never waiting. She was all the things she could ever be and they were very, very happy together.

Always in the afternoon sun.

* * *

Rose wasn't anywhere she had ever been before.

This wasn't dreaming, it had never been dreaming. Too real for that, and too much that had the aura of newness.

The Doctor was there, as ever, standing on the threshold, an obvious invitation. Never before had she joined him, no matter what he had said or how he had pleaded. Instead she had sat, waiting to wake, patient and strong and silent.

Now he said nothing, and she ran to him.

* * *

A gentle couple and their newborn son, no more than a gurgling baby now, forever.

The Doctor watched, a little distance away.

The mother held the boy in her arms, named him with a smile, though the Doctor did not hear, and had never heard, the name. She had been so ephemeral once, now a part of his beautiful new creation and she would be young and alive and always, always take care of her newborn son.

The father stood nearby, proud smile, steady eyes. He was not a part of this, but only for a moment. The mother beckoned, gave him his son. He held him up, examined his face.

"Perfect," he murmured.

And it was, decided the Doctor, it really, really was.

* * *

"Rose," he whispered in her ear. "Oh, Rose, you've come back."

He's holding her and she's holding him and she's not sure who's supporting who, but she's trying very hard not to show her fear. "Don't hurt me," she whispered back. "I'm here, I'll stay. Don't hurt me."

"Rose." His voice was pained. Pale. He lifted her chin, she met his eyes. She would not look away. She would not. "How could you ever imagine I would?"

"Because that's what you've done, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "Rose, there's so much you haven't seen. So many worlds, so many lives. And all the pain and the suffering. It's the universe, or it was. I've made it better, Rose. I've taken pain and death away, given everyone what they wanted most. It's perfect, Rose."

"What about hope?" she asked. "Is there still hope?"

* * *

The eons of Time rolled back.

The Golden Lady, last guardian of the Web of Time, fell back into prehistory, to when the universe was young, and made her stand in those most ancient times when she was dark and terrible and held all the energies and possibilities of life within her being.

And she kept concealed as best she could that little pocket that the Time Lord has been so very adamant about. A moment or two, and the other pushing her back had not noticed. Not yet.

Time weaved the Web into ever more complex patterns, changing the beginning and fortifying it into a permanence it was never meant to have.

She walked her battlements, safe for a little while.

* * *

The Doctor hadn't answered, but Rose could feel herself waking.

The ground was hard, harder, and she knew that this was not where she had been before.

She sat up, a little round room, black archways leading away in every direction; an Escher nightmare she could not understand, for she was linear and this place should not exist.

The bricks made sense to her eyes. She followed them one at a time to the centre - what could be the centre - of the room. He sat there, cross-legged, fingers laced and resting on his lap.

"It's the end," the Doctor said, looking up at her. "I don't know how to fix it. Or maybe I do. I think I've forgotten. I can't remember. I'm the Doctor, aren't I? I'm the Doctor?"

She knelt by him, took a hand of his in a hand of hers and the skin was ice and hers burned against it and it wasn't comfort, but it was contact and maybe that would be enough. "What's happened here?" she asked, as gentle as she could be.

"It's the end," he repeated. "Nothing left out there. End of the universe, and it all falls down."

"I don't understand."

"They're not dead!" He didn't shout, not really, but the sounds stretched and flowed and echoed from one arch to another and it _hurt_. "I took death away, so they couldn't be, could they? It all began to fall in on itself and there was so much to change and so much time and I thought I'd have forever. They didn't die, but they've gone. Everything I made. Where have they gone? There's nothing out there. Where have they gone?"

"Doctor…" She squeezed his hand. "I'm here. I'm alive."

"Rose Tyler." Ghost-smile on ghost-skin. "Rose Tyler, I remember you. Showed you the universe, didn't I? Took you all through time and all through space and you wanted that, didn't you? You were happy, weren't you?"

"Course I was."

"I'm so tired."

"You can sleep now."

"Can't. She's out there, just waiting."

Rose shook her head. "Who?"

"Time, of course!" He closed his eyes, seemed to fade a moment. "It's her fault. It must be. She forces the linear upon so many and it's not natural, not right. I'll rip her from the stars and then I will have forever and no one will vanish and there'll be no stones and no writing on the walls."

Rose took a deep breath, said what she could. "If she's making it all linear, she'll wait, won't she? There's nothing else here, nothing that can hurt you. Just me, Doctor." She let him lean against her, held him and spoke quietly and with all the confidence she had ever known. "Sleep now, it's safe. I'll watch over you, okay? I won't leave you."

His head on her lap and his hands in hers, Rose watched and she waited and time passed as slowly as ever before.

* * *

Time was steady and patient and forever.

She trapped the Doctor's spies in her Web, consumed them and danced away. Parts of him flowed through her domains, and she avoided even the fragments of him. Better to let him chase her, better for her to lead him to her battlefields. Temporal traps and twists and all the tricks she had learned, for though he travelled the Vortex, that was her being and she knew her own body and every facet and capability it possessed.

She listened for his quietening, felt him retreat to the futures she had abandoned and it was then that she sent a part of herself, long golden tendril, a humanoid illusion, to see the Time Lord who had made her a deal.

Time was a god of her word.

* * *

"So what to we do now?" asked Sarah, with all the conviction of someone who wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know, but thought it best to find out sooner rather than later.

Romana slid the final piece of the Key to Time into place. A perfect cube. Complete. "A single grain of sand can change the fate of a world," she said.

* * *

His hand grew less cool, and Rose looked down to see the Doctor's eyes open and watching her.

He stood, seemed so much stronger now, so much more real somehow. Solid round the edges, and his eyes pinned her with their intensity. "Why are you here, Rose?" he asked her.

"What kind of a question is that?" she said, getting to her feet and forcing herself to be angry. She knew he was here now, more of him than there had been before, and telling the truth was always easier than lying. "I'm here cause of you."

"I didn't bring you here. You came here yourself. Now why would you do that, Rose?"

"Doctor!" Outrage. Oh, she'd be angry and she'd probably cry too. "I came to find you."

"Bit of a funny place to come…end of time…Citadel on the Edge of the Universe, Catacombs of Forever and all those other grandiose old names for this miserable thing."

She scowled. "What's wrong with you? Isn't this what you wanted? Me, to come back? Make me happy and all that? Or have you finally come to your senses and can see that Romana was right?"

He raised her eyebrows. "Was she indeed?" He stepped closer to her, dark eyes. "It's very cold, Rose. And something is very wrong. I know that. I can feel that."

"Yeah," she said. "That would be you and what you did to everything out there."

He smiled, a little like he used to, lop-sided and amused. "Oh, Rose, you couldn't possibly understand."

"And I don't want to."

"Silly little human," he said, indulgent, and she hated it, lashed out. A single ringing slap across his face.

As soon as her hand connected she knew that she'd made a mistake. Those few inches of space between then were all that had been protecting her thoughts.

"What have you done?" Incomprehensible, alien anger.

Rose shook her head, unable to speak. "Tell me!" he demanded, the word rattling inside her head.

Her memories spilled out, she could not stop them.

And the Doctor saw it all. 


	8. Fallen Angels

**Chapter 7: Fallen Angels**

_Do not be afraid, my children. I shall not abandon you. For though my body is entombed, my spirit is dispersed all through time.  
-The Book of Rassilon_

"Will I remember?" asked Sarah. "Afterwards, I mean."

"I don't know," Romana said. "It's possible. I'm so sorry."

Sarah nodded. "I can do this."

"You're very brave."

"What about you?"

"Oh, there's not much to being dead. I imagine I'll rather enjoy the rest."

* * *

Someone was speaking.

"The Paradigm gives us power, but _you_ could give us wisdom. Become a god. At my side. Imagine what you could do - think of the civilizations you could save. Perganon, Assinta... your own people, Doctor. Standing tall. The Time Lords... reborn.

"Doctor, don't listen to him," said Sarah, such a long time ago.

Finch turned to her, continued. "And you could be with him throughout eternity. Young... fresh... never wither, never age... never die." His eyes turned back to the Doctor. "Their lives are so fleeting. So many goodbyes. How lonely you must be, Doctor. _Join us._"

"I could save everyone." Behind the Doctor's eyes, Gallifrey was burning.

"Yes," said Finch, leaning forwards, his voice silky, intimate.

"I could stop the war."

"No," said Sarah. "The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love."

The Doctor watched Finch's face, watched it fall. Behind his eyes Gallifrey fell. Tears and ashes.

"Whether it's a world, or a relationship," continued Sarah.

"No," said the Doctor. "_No._"

Time cut a little more…

* * *

And Time held fast around the Earth and though she edged back as the Abomination surrounded her, she knew the moments that she must protect beyond all others.

"Let me in, let me in!" screamed the Doctor.

"Not by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin," Time called back.

* * *

Finch turned to Sarah. "And you could be with him throughout eternity. Young... fresh... never wither, never age... never die." His eyes turned back to the Doctor. "Their lives are so fleeting. So many goodbyes. How lonely you must be, Doctor. _Join us._"

"I could save everyone." Behind the Doctor's eyes, Gallifrey was burning.

"Yes," said Finch, leaning forwards, his voice silky, intimate.

"I could stop the war."

"No," said Sarah. "The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love."

The Doctor watched Finch's face, watched it fall. Behind his eyes Gallifrey fell. Tears and ashes.

"Whether it's a world, or a relationship," continued Sarah.

"No," said the Doctor. "_No._"

Time cut a little more…

* * *

The faded Doctor sat with the Rose who could still remember when nothing was further away than a trip on the bus. It was dark and cold and there was nowhere to go and nothing to wait for.

Not a catacomb, not a maze, not an archive. But a tomb.

And a place where Time no longer held dominion.

"I don't want to be alone," the Doctor said.

Rose took his hand. "I'm here."

"I don't know. I think you might just be a figment of my imagination. I've imagined so very many things. I don't think I can count them all any more."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm real enough."

"I hurt you."

"Yeah, you did."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

* * *

"I could stop the war."

"No," said Sarah. "The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love."

The Doctor watched Finch's face, watched it fall. Behind his eyes Gallifrey fell. Tears and ashes.

"Whether it's a world, or a relationship," continued Sarah.

"No," said the Doctor. "_No._"

Time cut a little more…

* * *

"You'll only have a few seconds," Romana told her.

"What do I do? What do I say?" And, for a moment, Sarah thought she might panic.

Romana smiled, shrugged. She was bathed in calm, perfect composure. "I can't answer that. But he's your friend, and you know him a lot better than you think."

Sarah took a deep breath, asked, "What if I get it wrong?"

"Then we tried."

"Romana, I don't-"

"You've done this before. Be his conscience. Remember that you're right. Tell him what he needs to know. What you think he should know. It only needs a push, and you were almost there before. A word's as powerful as an action. Or, if nothing else, tell him what will happen."

* * *

The Doctor watched Finch's face, watched it fall. Behind his eyes Gallifrey fell. Tears and ashes.

"Whether it's a world, or a relationship," said Sarah.

"No," said the Doctor. "_No._"

Time cut a little more…

* * *

Somewhere else, a granddaughter was suddenly afraid and a baby boy started to cry and a mother and a father who watched over his cradle held each other for fear of what the wind was bringing.

* * *

"I'm ready," said Sarah.

Romana nodded, took the Key to Time in her hands, felt its potential flow through her. Felt the temptation.

_I could save them all._

But Time was ready and she could see the open window, the path to Earth.

_I am imperfect._

But Gallifrey rose before her eyes, _her_ Gallifrey, and the great union between the temporal powers and the peace through the Vortex and she would sweep away the Daleks and all the ways in which they had hurt her, her people, the cosmos.

It was so simple.

So simple.

Save for the memory of what would happen should she fall. She had seen it once, so long ago, on Gallifrey. Another future, another Romana. One who had called herself Imperiatrix and ruled her empire with a cruel justice and vicious hatred of all who would not conform.

She knew, she had always known, she would pass this test.

And she would die.

_Good luck, Sarah Jane._

It wasn't easy, but she smiled.

And she sent this Sarah into the other Sarah and did not think about paradox or cause or effect or all the universe a storm around the eye, that moment there in the classroom.

One future stopped, another began.

* * *

"Whether it's a world, or a relationship," Sarah heard herself say and she did not know what to do next.

And then she remembered, those words that Rose had said, that had been said before. By Rose, the ship and Time. Sarah remembered and she said, "Everything has its time…and everything ends."

She saw the Doctor watching her, saw the indecision in his eyes resolve into action.

He lifted a chair, smashed it into the computer, rejected Finch and all that he had offered.

And in seven words Sarah had saved everything that she'd ever known.

* * *

The Last Great Tower of the Time Lords fell and Pain fled back into the cosmos; Death rose from the ashes of all those she had reaped; Gallifrey burned.

And Time guided the threads as they ravelled and unravelled and history was written and rewritten and almost everything was just as she remembered.

Somewhere on Earth, a human was crying. But only on the inside.

* * *

They ran, the Doctor and her, they ran as they always had and she loved it, loved it and revelled in it and savoured every moment.

It would soon be gone and so would he. Exactly as it should be.

She let him hold her when she was sure it had finished, really finished. When she could let go, just a little, and she cried into his arm and she didn't say a word.

They stayed a little while, the Doctor and Rose and Mickey. Longer than she expected, but just as long as she needed.

"Find me... if you need to, one day. Find me." That was what she told Rose, just before they left. The rest could wait. So could she, she wouldn't forget.

One day, she'd tell Rose about Romana and her ship and the Doctor and the end of the universe. She wasn't sure that Rose would believe her, but maybe she'd understand. And there really wasn't anyone else she wanted to tell, anyone else she could imagine telling without a self-conscious laugh and some serious self-doubt regarding her own sanity.

But it was real. Had been real. She held it all inside of her, all those people and memories and events, just hers. A whole new universe inside her head.

Just after they had left she said a quiet goodbye, a thank you, to Romana.

And somewhere out there the sky was burning, the seas were fierce and the people screamed. Somewhere there was despair, somewhere there was cruelty and somewhere there was a man in a blue box, making things better and doing the best he could. Those were the stories that she'd been a part of, and now they went on without her.

But it'd be alright, because she'd always liked this bit: the bit that was all about a girl and her dog.

Sarah Jane Smith went home. 


End file.
